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‘Men want someone who is fertile but who doesn’t want children just yet,’ she continued.

‘So they want women in their late 20s or early 30s.

(Though, let's be real here, the GPS location services of many apps are sketchy at best.) There are apps for all kinds of sexualities ranging from casual hookups to specific fetishes. Go for it — heck, why not do it anonymously while you're at it; app, you can smile proudly to yourself knowing you've found love (or lust) in a rather not-hopeless place.

And, hey, there's no shame if you're just looking for the latter; there's obviously an app for that, too.

Being sent a wrong text message basically saying that I was one of four he was dating.

– Why is he carrying one of those fake Gucci shoulder bags?

Whenever I was between boyfriends in the past, I would just enjoy life until another man came along — through work, mutual friends or our eyes meeting across a crowded room.

But when I phoned a dating agency eight months ago, everything had taken on a new sense of urgency. ‘Haven’t you found yourself a husband yet, Bridgey? But don’t look desperate — men hate that.’ I went speed-dating, online-dating, wine-tasting dating, quiz-dating and dinner-dating.

There’s a good chance you could be swiping 32-year old, Carlsberg-swigging Neil who works in the garage and frequents students’ house parties because he’s not ready to grow up.

Unfortunately, not everyone you’ll see in that app can pass your standards.

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