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And I didn’t realize at the time, but all the men [using this service] who worked had to pay. So I went to living in the suburbs with mostly immigrant families to dating white-collar businessmen at 17-years-old. Since I was fat, these other parts of my personality had to be extra.

And so many different parts of my life emerged from that one introduction to dating. So these guys wanted a young woman, of course, but I could talk like their colleagues.

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So it’s complicated and painful now as an adult having had those formative experiences with white men of a certain class."Now it’s very difficult for me to find a partner who can get down with me as a person of color, who is critical of racism and stuff. So the idea of being a busty Asian person gets brought up a lot.

I was going on phone chat lines and stuff at 17-years-old, which is kind of the predecessor of online dating in a lot of ways.

For a fat girl who was told her entire life that she was undesirable or unloveable, the idea of meeting someone anonymously and having them fall for my personality, and then having the reveal — that’s the fat girl dream. I was lying about being 18-years-old to use the service.

Dating today is a tricky business — whether you're looking for love online or off. Regardless of who you are, the journey that is dating and relationships can make you feel like you're running around in circles. We met on Tinder."What have your experiences in the dating world been like?

Those who seemed nice in their profiles turn out to be total fuckboys after the first date.

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